Jen,
Your “Pardon Me” blog hit home on so many levels.
It was a few months ago. I was traveling back to Virginia from Ohio and had a very heart wrenching, I-miss-gram-moment. I was about half way home, I guess, in the middle of the PA mountains. I looked at the GPS and saw the words “Indianola Rd” in the distance. That was the name of my Gram’s street! Of course, we were in a different state, but that seeing that name brought me so much comfort.
When I vocalized my excitement, that she must have known I missed her, the response from the person in the car was an eye roll and the words, “you look too hard for her.”
I felt like I was shot in the heart. The dagger that I gave the person could have cut right through the body. I immediately questioned why that was said. I became overwhelmed with sadness and tears. How dare someone say that!
When this person explained the reason behind the response, it was communicated that it is, and I quote “unhealthy.”
To this day, I sit with this. Everyone grieves differently and I refuse to let the signs that my Gram is still here with me die with her physical body.
I decided to not express my “Gram moments” with this person anymore, mainly because I don’t feel comfortable doing so. I will continue to write to her, she her in my son, and know that I will keep her memory alive in any way I chose to do so.
So THANK YOU for writing this blog! I needed it :)
My heart is full.
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1 comment
Jen,
Your “Pardon Me” blog hit home on so many levels.
It was a few months ago. I was traveling back to Virginia from Ohio and had a very heart wrenching, I-miss-gram-moment. I was about half way home, I guess, in the middle of the PA mountains. I looked at the GPS and saw the words “Indianola Rd” in the distance. That was the name of my Gram’s street! Of course, we were in a different state, but that seeing that name brought me so much comfort.
When I vocalized my excitement, that she must have known I missed her, the response from the person in the car was an eye roll and the words, “you look too hard for her.”
I felt like I was shot in the heart. The dagger that I gave the person could have cut right through the body. I immediately questioned why that was said. I became overwhelmed with sadness and tears. How dare someone say that!
When this person explained the reason behind the response, it was communicated that it is, and I quote “unhealthy.”
To this day, I sit with this. Everyone grieves differently and I refuse to let the signs that my Gram is still here with me die with her physical body.
I decided to not express my “Gram moments” with this person anymore, mainly because I don’t feel comfortable doing so. I will continue to write to her, she her in my son, and know that I will keep her memory alive in any way I chose to do so.
So THANK YOU for writing this blog! I needed it :)
My heart is full.